Questions and Answers section

First of all, it is important for me to say that this is a question that quite a few couples deal with on a similar topic. Sensitivity of partners to smells is a real and significant thing.

From a practical standpoint, the smell can change depending on lifestyle and diet. A few things that can help:

• Drinking plenty of water throughout the day
• Adding fruits to the diet, especially sweet fruits like pineapple or citrus fruits
• Reducing spicy foods, garlic, onions, and alcohol
• If there is smoking, stopping will help with this as well

From a medical perspective, sometimes a particularly unusual smell can indicate an infection or a medical issue. If the smell has changed recently or is very strong, it is advisable to consult a urologist.

From the relationship perspective, what saddens me to hear is the feeling of rejection that you are experiencing. It hurts. It is important to understand whether your wife’s difficulty is only with this specific issue, or if there may be additional factors that make physical closeness difficult for her. Sometimes the smell is the “easier” issue to talk about, when there are other difficulties beneath the surface.
It is important to remember that in a healthy relationship, both partners need to feel desired and accepted. When one partner feels that they are being “tolerated” or that closeness to them is a burden, it harms the core of the relationship. Your question shows that you are looking for a solution and not an argument, and that is an important starting point. It is worth trying to open a gentle conversation with your wife, not מתוך blame, but out of a genuine desire to understand what would help her feel more comfortable, and at the same time to gently share with her that you also need to feel desired and not rejected. Sometimes the honest conversation itself opens doors we didn’t know existed.

Hello,
First of all, congratulations! Much joy!

In my opinion, the right approach is to speak with her calmly and honestly. Ask her what she truly wants.
It is very possible that after two days in the hospital she wants to be in the warm and familiar home with the family. The quiet and being alone may no longer feel so pleasant to her.

In this situation, your role is to be there for her and meet her needs. “Whatever makes you feel good, my dear…”
Give her the feeling that you trust her judgment, that she knows what is right for her and that she is mature enough to make the decision.

On the other hand, don’t forget that you are only human as well.
Is it difficult for you to go and bring her now?
Would it be easier for you tomorrow?
So talk about it.

She has a need and you have a need. Find the balance.
Don’t forget that she is after childbirth—weak and tired. There is a chance her reactions will be different than usual.

Hello,
I understand your desire to introduce elements into your relationship that will bring more vitality, interest, and closeness. It is natural and completely legitimate to want to renew and enrich the connection.

At the same time, it is important to remember that sometimes what we want or imagine is not always suitable or right for our partner—just as sometimes things they may want will not necessarily suit us.
And the hesitation you describe about approaching her and bringing up the topic is very understandable.

But דווקא because of these gaps and concerns, the only way to move forward is through an honest conversation. Try to find an appropriate time and gently open the subject, from a place that allows her to respond freely, express concerns, ask questions, or even disagree.
Such a conversation can be an opportunity to create a deeper mutual understanding—even if the outcome is not exactly what you hoped for. You may be pleasantly surprised, and it may simply help both of you better understand each other’s needs, desires, and sensitivities.

In the end, the ability to talk about these things is what builds true intimacy.

Especially for this, we have massage oil

2 to 4 business days

It very much depends.
Usually, it is customary after three months.
But there are parents who are very hurt if they are not told about the pregnancy. It is important to be very sensitive and to read the situation.

We have a variety of products relevant to this matter; you are welcome to browse the store or consult with customer service.

First of all, thank you for reaching out and sharing. I understand that overall your relationship is good, and the issue is focused on specific situations—and that is actually something positive to hold on to.

First of all, you are not wrong in how you feel. Even in a relationship, each person has the right to make decisions and choose differently without it turning into a crisis.
The fact that you are trying to explain and maintain communication is exactly what should be done.

I will give you a brief explanation of the source of this coping. Sometimes, when a person reacts so strongly to what seems like a small “disobedience,” it is not really about the room or the living room. There may be something deeper here—perhaps insecurity, a need for control that stems from anxiety, or patterns she learned in the past about how things “should” be. This does not mean it is okay, but it helps to understand that it is not really about you.

It is important for you to know—there is real hope for improvement, but it requires professional help. Couples therapy can truly help, not only to teach you to communicate differently, but also to help her understand where this reaction comes from and find other ways to cope with frustration.

Many couples who came from similar situations managed to create significant change through working together with a therapist. This is not something you have to live with as it is.

Try to talk with her at a calm moment (not after an argument), explain to her that you love her and want your relationship to be better, and that both of you will feel better. Suggest going to couples therapy together—not as “fixing her,” but as a way to improve your relationship together.

There is real potential for improvement here, provided there is willingness from both sides to work on it.
Good luck and Shabbat Shalom.

You are looking for more openness, and your wife wants less. Sometimes she does what you ask, but more out of compromise than מתוך a sense of wholeness—and this creates the feeling that she is “doing you a favor.”

Instead of pleading, it is important to express your desire clearly and simply, and to also make space for her boundaries. דווקא when you hold the gap without trying to change her immediately, space opens for a real conversation that is based on choice and not on compromise.

It is worth knowing—as the gaps in a relationship grow, it is recommended to consider couples therapy. Therapy provides tools to learn how to maintain the relationship in a healthy way, so that each person can remain true to themselves, while at the same time strengthening the connection between you.

Swearing is a form of expression that, unfortunately, is common in parts of the population בארץ and worldwide, and also within the חרדי community.

Like any habit, this too can and should be learned to be done differently. If your husband truly wants to stop, it is important to understand that this is probably a behavior that has become a habit, and it may give him some kind of gain—for example, that this is the way he can pressure you so that you back off. As long as he receives this gain, he has no real reason to change.

To help create change, stop giving him that same gain, and at the same time set clear boundaries. For example: when you start swearing—I leave the room.

When he understands that the swearing no longer brings him what it used to, that is where the change will begin.

In the previous answer, the ruling discussed was according to Sephardic practice. According to Ashkenazi ruling, gel nail polish is considered a barrier in any case.

Congratulations on the pregnancy!

There are several ways that can help increase desire despite the natural difficulty that comes with pregnancy:

1. Open communication: An open conversation with your wife about your desires and needs can strengthen the relationship and create mutual commitment.
2. Quality time: Set aside time for bonding activities such as dinners, walks, or simply spending time together at home.
3. Physical touch: Hugs, gentle touch, and other forms of physical closeness can help increase connection and desire—with an emphasis on touch without a specific goal.
4. Lifestyle routine: It’s more complex to detail, but it is very much related.

If you feel the need, you can also consider couples counseling or therapy, which can help you deal with these challenges in a professional way.

Continue as usual.
Tehorah.

It is possible to be lenient and cut the nails the day before immersion, even though Ashkenazim have an extra stringency in this matter. Of course, before immersion one should check carefully that there is no dirt, hard skin, etc.

In addition, you can enter the store located in the bot; there are drops (pleasure oil) that can help and are suited for these situations (under the kashrut of Rabbi Rubin).

Your question on this intimate topic is very important and significant. Matters related to marital intimacy are sensitive and personal, and require thoughtful and professional consideration.

I strongly recommend having a personal conversation with a professional or with the instructor who guided you before marriage. They will be able to provide comprehensive and personalized guidance, taking into account your background and values.

A face-to-face conversation will allow you to receive a fuller and more precise response than online correspondence, and will ensure that you receive all the necessary information in an appropriate and respectful manner.

Remember that marital intimacy is an important part of the relationship, and it should be approached with seriousness and mutual respect.

This is a very individual question.
One should consult a halachic authority on a personal basis.